Ever wondered why you're here?
Ever stopped and thought...... isn't everything qute pointless at the end of the day?
Ever wanted to be completely different to who you are right now?
Ever thought that everything you experience.. you will most likely forget... and that one day.. it'll be through your own eyes that you will experience your own death?
Ever thought that your entire life will be nothing more than an extended progression of funerals... ultimately culminating in your own?
i have....
and i wonder what i would be like if i was not me...... if i was someone else...
some days i almost wish i was that someone else..
i think so far ahead that one day i'll be looking through my eyes and i'll close them..... and never open them again..... and that when that day comes... i'll have lost so many people i know....
people i like... people i don't... people i'll have met once.... people i'll have known all of my life.... all gone in the end...
i think about experiences that i'll never have, like growing up going to an american high school (i know weird desire.. but still) being the cool guy that everybody wants to be friends with. or maybe even being that hardcore guy that everybody's scared of....
i know they sound stupid.. but still... just thoughts....
been thinking a lot about myself lately..... and i begin to question who i really am...
mainly i think... what am i actually good at?.. and i concede that i excel at nothing... i am okay or maybe even good at many different things.. but i am the best at nothing in any respect..
i also think where everything is going... and i wonder if ANYthing will work out the way i want to... or if nothing i planned will happen.... and then what?
i play the what if game and i wonder whether i'm going to be the loser or the guy who just breaks even.......
i don't know why all these long thoughts all came to me, but they do and they swirl around me reminding me of nothing but vultures circling dying animal.... seeking to undo me...
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
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5 comments:
Life's Brief Candle..just thought that in tuition just now! I love that poem..it is suuch a beautiful poem (i doubt if my students could appriciate the depth of that poem)haha..but everything you said is so true. There are so facets of life that we would want to experience before we die. But an american high school student? Mate?!? what's wrong with you? hahaha..one question you should ask yourself: What is the purpose of life?
we live we love we learn we lie
we make the most before we die
and hope that it all means something at the end.
the biological meaning of life is to survive and propagate the species, protect your own bloodlines.
philosphically... it's whatever purpose you can forge out for yourself....
sometimes it seems that tere really is no purpose....
we live in a time frame that is proportionally so small in the larger scheme of things that there really IS no point....
so the end of the day you have to live a life that at the end of you can be proud of what you've done and have a minimum of regrets.
Bah with all the pondering i say. Pick something you want to do, or think you want to do and give it a shot. Sure you MIGHT fail, but if you ain't gonna give it a shot, you HAVE failed.
you will achieve what you want to do. there's nothing in this world that if you've set your heart on it that you can't do :)
and you have my utmost faith and support :)
you'll do great.
what's with being all emo anyway?!
that's really my job!
it's not about trying and failing.. i have nothing against that..
but just that some things once they pass you'll never get another chance...
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